For those of you who might not know, urinal screens are plastic screens found in men’s restroom that cover the holes in urinal to prevent larger things from being flushed down urinals. I assume most women have not spent a long time in men's restrooms and are not as familiar with urinals as men. The … Continue reading If Bitter Ex-Girlfriends Wrote the Messages on Urinal Screens
Ah, that was a refreshing nap. While my neck still has not become any wider, my napping skills have improved and have been called “impressive”, “epic” or, more negatively, “decadent” by those not so generous. While those adjectives are spot on, a nap for me is not just a nap. Far from it, in fact. … Continue reading On Napping, Part 2: A Field Guide to Naps & Advancements in Napping Technology
I am quite certain I was the only four-year old American boy who cried when Generalisimo Francisco Franco of Spain died. The waterworks surprised both my parents and me, and for a long time I have been trying to figure out why they existed in the first place. Thanks to years of psychoanalysis and the … Continue reading On Napping, Part 1: A Personal History
Indie Rock/Post-Punk’s loudest vegetarian is Morrissey, lead singer of The Smiths. As a staunch vegetarian, he forbade the rest of the band to ever be photographed eating meat and insisted the venues at which they performed did not sell meat the night of the show. Controlling band-mates was not enough, Morrissey tried to convince the … Continue reading Rejected Titles for The Smiths’ Album “Meat Is Murder”
“A voice is a human gift; it should be cherished and used, to utter fully human speech as possible. Powerlessness and silence go together.” – Margaret Atwood ___________________________________________________________________________________________ Bumper sticker available at the Misophonia support group website: “A voice is a human gift, but silence is a gift from God.” +++++++++++++ Man and woman in … Continue reading Various Responses to Margaret Atwood’s “A Voice is a Human Gift”
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A very special 40 Foot Buffet column providing proof that the Theoretical Formula of Comedy (tragedy + time = comedy) is correct. Additional exploration of the Theoretical Formula of Comedy can be found here. Enough time has now based that we may laugh at my tragedy. I am laid up in bed with sweet, … Continue reading Tragedy + Time = Comedy: Colorectal Version