1. The Dyslexic Pertoy Tik
2. The Basque Language Poetry Kit – with 57% more X’s,V’s,Z’s, K’s,and Y’s than other Magnetic Poetry kits!
3. Ebonics Poetry Kits – “Is you be or Is you not be?/Dat’s wat I’m talkin’ ’bout”
4. The Clear Channel Poetry – Kit Owns at least 40% of the poetry kits in most major American media markets.
5. Redacted Government Document Poetry Kit – Every fifth word tile is blacked out for reasons of National Security.
6. The MBA Poetry Kit – Costs $5,000 to buy. Gets recent biz school grad to write poem. Takes all the credit while vacationing in the Hamptons.
7. Feminist Activist Poetry Kit – “through our struggles in herstory/strong womyn have fought the patriarch”
8. Radical Islamic Terrorist Poetry Kit – “a thousand enormous deaths/to the aching capitalistic dogs”
9. Adult Incontinence Poetry Kit – “oops/I did it again”
10. NAMBLA Poetry Kit – [Ed. – For reasons of taste, we, the editors of 40 Foot Buffet, have declined to run a sample verse.]
11. Hurricane Aftermath Poetry Kit
12. Sitting in Rush Hour Traffic Poetry Kit
13. Klezmer Music Lovers Poetry Kit
14. Proctologist Poetry Kit
15. Deposed Third World Dictator Poetry Kit
16. The Magnetic North Poetry Kit
17. No. 1 Draft Pick Hold Out Poetry Kit
18. Hillbilly Poetry Kit – “Worship Possum”
