Dear Evel…America’s favorite daredevil offers up hope, encouragement, and advice to those in a pickle.

Evel

 

Dear Evel,

 My wife sleeps in the raw. Then she showers, brushes her teeth and fixes breakfast — still in the buff. We’re newlyweds and there are just the two of us, so I suppose there’s really nothing wrong with it. What do you think?

 ED

Dear Ed,

For seven months in 1971, I can’t really remember which ones due to the painkillers, I wore nothing but my birthday suit and a smile. During that period I think I slept with some 2000 women. My record was eight in one 24-hour period. It got to be a real problem. I had to see a psychiatrist.

EK

 

Dear Evel,

 If you read the papers as well as write for them, you saw the article about the judge who gave a husband permission to spank his wife when she needed it. All I can say is, “It’s about time.” I was beginning to think the women were taking over the country. If more men turned their wives over their knees and showed them who was boss, society would be in better shape. Spanking should be legalized everywhere. 

 ONE MAN’S OPINION

 Dear One Man,

Back in 1962, I jumped 50 rattlesnakes in a 90ft box and two mountain lions but smashed into the edge of the box. I nailed the landing but all the snakes got out and the people had to run down the mountain. It was complete chaos! When I brought my bike to a stop, the guy who hired me chased me into a dead-end ally with a 2”x4”. With my back up against a dumpster, the man raised the board above his head and prepared to beat my ass. Just as he started to swing, he was pounced on by the escaped mountain lions, who ate him alive right in front of my eyes. For the next 12 years I kept those mountain lions as pets on my ranch in Butte.

The moral of the story? If you think spanking a woman should be legal I’m going to track you down and beat you within an inch of your life with my mountain lion walking stick. Oh, and never jump a box of rattlesnakes and mountain lions unless you get the cash up front.

EK

 

 

 

 

By Bill LaViolette

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