Avocados of Angst
Eggplants of Indignation
Apples of Vexation
Melons of Umbrage
Kiwis of Ill Temper
Blackberries of Choler
Pineapples of Prick
Dragonfruit of Dander
Bananas of Acrimony
Tomatoes of Being Worked Into a Lather
Radishes of Rancor
My Editor Smells Like Cabbage
Oranges of Orneriness
Fruitcake of Pushing One’s Buttons
Papayas of Pique
Cherries of Malignity
California Raisins That Heard It through the Grapevine
Mangos of This Better Get Me a F**king Pulitzer
Whatever Title My Wife Comes Up With